We're all familiar with self-sabotage, you know, that "wrench in the works" that comes between us and our coveted goals? Whether it's a career that absolutely excites us, an outstanding relationship, or perhaps that house or trip we always dreamed of…
Why do certain things seem constantly out of our reach? Or perhaps we reach a particular goal temporarily, only to have it mysteriously slip out of our grasp. To understand this we must first understand the nature of self-sabotage.
Imagine this…your conscious mind desires something…it sets the wheels of thought in motion to devise a plan to make it happen. Plan in place, the mind then activates your body, which in turn begins carrying out the mind's instructions. Your mind and body are in sync, you've mobilized, the machinery is humming along smoothly and you feel great…and then what happens? Your unconscious mind catches wind of this operation and realizes this new activity is threatening your comfort zone, and it positions itself to spring into action. At this point the prime objective of the unconscious mind is safety or psychological homeostasis. When it thinks homeostasis is being threatened it "acts out" in various ways to restore equilibrium (i.e. dropping the ball just before completing an important project, instigating a major fight just when it's clear the relationship could last, drinking the night before the exam, going on a spending spree the first time you have extra money available to put towards your financial future). Sound familiar? But why would the unconscious mind see this new activity that promises a richer fuller way of being as a threat? Herein lies the key.
The new activity creates a conflict, this new picture of yourself and your behavior conflicts with the old one…causing tension. When tension is successfully managed, it will actually aid in propelling you toward your desired goal. Without that awareness and skill, it's inevitable, the unconscious mind will "act out" to relive the tension and restore equilibrium. So how do we successfully manage the tension? We enlist it to work in our favor rather than against us. Remember the unconscious mind is like a computer; it already has firm pictures and beliefs about you and the world. Through careful and through self-exploration we can excavate and examine the contents of our unconscious, discarding the erroneous beliefs that are culturally programmed, handed down by our parents, and formulated by our childhood environment and limited and distorted childhood perception.
It is in doing this that we begin to know freedom.
