The Codependant Relationship Questionnaire

Are you in a codependant relationship? The Codependant Relationship Questionnaire can be used to assess whether or not you are in a codependant sexual relationship. If you are not currently in a sexual relationship, you can use the Codependant Relationship Questionnaire to determine if in the past you have been in one. If you are currently in a relationship, fill out this questionnaire by yourself. Please check the answer below that most closely describes your feelings or behavior.

Answer yes or no

Yes No  
Do you place your partners needs ahead of yours?
Have you ever hit or been hit by your partner?
Are you afraid to tell your partner when your feelings are hurt?
Does your partner tell you how to dress?
Do you smile when you are angry?
Do you have difficulty establishing personal boundaries and keeping them?
Is it difficult to express your true feelings to your partner?
Do you feel nervous and uncomfortable when alone?
Do you feel rejected when your partner is spending time with friends?
Do you feel shame when your partner makes a mistake?
Do you have sex when you don't want to?
Do you withhold sex to get even with your partner?
Do you think your partner's opinion is more important than your own?
Do you rely on your partner to make most of the decisions in the relationship?
Do you become very upset when your partner does not follow your plan?
Are you afraid to let your partner really know what you are feeling?
Do you keep silent in order to keep the peace?
Do you feel you give and give and get little or no return?
Do you freeze up when in conflict with your partner?
Are you unhappy with your friendships?
Do you often find yourself saying, "It's not that bad"?
Do you feel that you are "stuck" in this relationship?
Do you have to control your emotions most of the time?
Do you lose control of your emotions during times of conflict?
Do you feel that your relationship would fall apart without your constant efforts?
Total number of yes answers

A total score of 5 or more yes answers indicates that you may be in or have been in a co-dependant relationship. The higher number of yes answers the more dysfunctional the relationship:

  • 1 to 7 yes answers indicate a mildly dysfunctional relationship
  • 8 to 18 yes answers indicate a moderately dysfunctional relationship,
  • 19 to 25 yes answers indicate a severely dysfunctional relationship.

Copyright© 1988 by Wayne Kritsberg Family Integration Systems