The New Year has finally arrived, you've just finished your first day back at work, the kids are on Christmas break and you need a full time babysitter, and you've got to get those "thank you" cards out this week! Finally, your friend calls and asks for help with that New Year's resolution he's having trouble keeping. Surely, adding one more item to your day's activities will put you over the top! What do you do?
We hear a lot these days about relationship "boundaries". Just about every pop-psychology book today espouses the value of personal boundaries within the workplace, in relationships, with friends, family, and significant others.
There's no doubt about it, poor boundaries in relationships can be the kiss of death, fostering confusion, resentment, disillusionment, and dissolution. As an example, have you ever been in a situation in which you help out a friend, and in the process deplete your own resources, ultimately resenting them?
Well, boundaries are a definite safety net for avoiding these types of situations, however, let me offer you another perspective. Understanding the purpose of these boundaries can be one of the most powerful tools for personal growth.
Setting and maintaining good boundaries puts you on the fast track to psychological health. If you want to accelerate your personal growth in a big way, take a long hard look at how boundaries, or a lack of, have impacted your life thus far.
Boundaries provide clarity. You see, in order to establish boundaries, you must be clear about what you want, what your beliefs and values are, and in essence, clarity about WHO you are. When you have clarity and stand behind your beliefs and values, you are congruent. Many times, out of fear, we focus on adapting to others, and therefore take time away from focusing on ourselves. Our energy becomes divided, and ultimately we lose the thing we strive for the most, our integrity.
This New Year make a promise to yourself: Honor and respect yourself by setting some personal boundaries that reflect who you are and who you want to be. It is a spiritual experience that will shape your future.
